Author: Jim Pigg
Jim is from Star Valley, Wyoming and flies out of KAFO. This was originally posted in the Facebook Group "Student Pilots Over 50"
Been seeing a few posts about giving up lately. I've been there and I want to share with you about it. It seems I'm very comfortable with my instructor aboard to "CYA". He offered me solo about 20 hrs in, and I declined as I wanted to connect the dots on landings. 20 more hours and I took the opportunity, dropped him off and proceeded to butcher and bounce my first solo landing attempt! Absolutely horrible. Instant go around. Came back and buttered the next one. He had asked for 2 landings, I wanted to go again because I shook myself up and knew I "needed to" but couldn't get him on CTAF so I headed for the barn and a post flight. That's my solo story, scared the hell out of myself, and not happy!
We did a couple more dual flights and then I did my solo XC, what a weird feeling to have the keys to the hanger and just go, fly away, by myself. Made 2 acceptable landings and bounced a third at the destination airport. Another horrible, S*$tbag bounce and go around. I was nervous on the way home, had some clouds (dodged them) and light turbulence, and I'm flying, alone, in a 40 year old tailwheel plane over Idaho and Wyoming terrain at 11,500 msl, wondering if I want to do this any more. Made it back home and had intended to do some touch and goes, but buttered the first landing, called it a full stop. I'd had enough.
Had a good debrief with instructor next time, a good dual flight, He is awesome and positive, really good at constructive criticism. We discussed my lack of confidence and my landing trouble. I butter 99% of landings when he's in the plane, go figure. We also discuss the fact that having 220 lbs of instructor in the back seat of a tailwheel plane make it feel a little different than when that seat is empty.
Next scheduled solo, (#3 solo) I'm wondering if I want to do this. Scared of the plane. Scared of landings. Do I go or not? No pep talk for my solo flights, nobody around, I have the keys and it's all on me to do everything, and do it right. F*&K.... Do I want to do this?? No way to learn it without doing it solo. Period.
I MADE myself go down and fly the bird. Really stomped around the house for a while trying to figure out if I could do this or not. I felt like this was a pivotal moment. I knew if I gave up it would not be in my favor. Being a Wyoming guy, and been in ranching and cattle, I've been bucked off a horse many times and always, always, made it a point to get right the hell back on them. So I went.
Got the bird all ready, talked nice to her, and lined up on 34 knowing if I took off I'd have to revisit my least favorite thing. Off we went. Headed out to the practice area and worked on some maneuvers I had planned with CFI. Coming back to the pattern, my nemesis, LANDING. Shit. 4/6 pretty damn good. One bounce and pretty "spicy." One, well, nothing got bent.
Left the airport feeling a little better, but not 100%.
I had 2 more solos scheduled, CFI is out of town. (Why he has this much confidence in me I still don't know) These were scheduled every other day including the aforementioned "nothing got bent" flight.
Now I've got a mission: Build confidence, land the damn plane like you know you can, and get yourself out of your head! So again, I line up on 34, and off we go. Pattern work, that's what today is for, I tell myself. Went up 2000AGL and did some practice glides, then joined the pattern. Applied what I knew, and the "feel" and skills I've learned. 10 landings! 10! and only 2 that weren't nice! OK, maybe I CAN do this. Went home a little happier.
This afternoon, I had the thought "I don't have to go do this." Ha. Dumbaxx, of course you don't. But the weather is great, snow is coming the end of the week, and you maybe should fly for fun a little. So that's what I did. Reminded myself of why I want to do this.
Still in amazement that I have the keys to a hanger and a plane, I walked in and got ready. Knew I was going to need fuel, so taxied over and got that done. Quite a few birds flying today, so off I go with one inbound and one behind me. Flew through the practice area, a few maneuvers, then pointed the nose North to just fly. Just... fly. For the pleasure of being up there. For the beautiful country I live in. For the love of looking down and around at everything. For the Joy of flying.
Comfortable enough now to snap a picture or two, I made a lap around the house then back to the airport. Crap! Somebody is holding short waiting for me! In a tailwheel too! Well, I ain't going to extend so I announced a touch and go and proceeded to butter it. Then I went on to make 5 more nice landings with traffic in the pattern and on the ground. Called # 6 a full stop and taxied to the FBO, not really wanting to quit for the day yet as the skies were clearing and well, I just wasn't ready to be done yet.
Took a break, visited with the FBO guys for a minute, expressed how I can't believe I'm doing this... And wondered aloud if I should go back up or just put the plane away. FBO guy says, weather is perfect, it won't be tomorrow and winter is long. So- Off I go again.
Made another lap from one end of the valley to the other, flew over the house, saw the sights, watched the light play on the snow in the mountains. Watched cattle and cars and towns. Loved every minute of it. In sheer disbelief and wonder that I GET to do this! I have the freedom to do this!
Buttered the landing on 16, (winds changed, only 4knts but I still don't want a tailwind) and headed for the barn. Made a perfect 90° tail turn in front of the hangar. Let's see you trike gear folks do that, HA LOL.
Left tonight overwhelmed with gratitude. I get to do this. After 50 years of wanting to, I CAN. 50 years of wanting to feel that freedom of landing, taking a break, then getting back in the air just because I can. Key words right there, and the point of this long winded story- I CAN. Trust me, if I can, you can!
For those that have been talking about giving up, don't. Push through it. I think we are all here for the same reason, we want to be in the sky.
I'll keep pushing myself. Will you?
